3.6 Volk Writing 2

 My New Normal

My journey of coming from your picture-perfect, suburban family of four to a broken home.

By Sydney Volk

Back in eighth grade, I had to take the bus home because my sister informed me that she was already home and wasn't going to give me a ride. It was out of the ordinary for her to already be home but I hopped on the bus with no question. Looking back at it now, there were many red flags that day and I should've known something was about to happen. Didn't think I would come home to my mother's belongings gone, missing furniture, and my father standing in an empty room puzzled and speechless. 

My mother had finally left her toxic marriage with my father. I had an extremely dysfunctional upbringing because of my parents. It worsened once my older sister became more involved in my parent's fighting. She is my half-sister which makes my mother her stepmother. Their bond morphed into the cliche stepdaughter and stepmother estranged relationship. 

It was heartbreaking to watch all three of my immediate family members grow to hate each other. I witnessed not only mental abuse but physical. I was only a tiny middle-schooler acting as a therapist. I knew divorce was on the horizon but I don't believe I was prepared as much as I thought I was. 

Once I got off the bus, I approached my sister who was crying and told me why she came home without me. She got sick during one of her classes and was sent home early. She showed up unexpectantly and surprised my mother as she was moving out. I believe there are no coincidences in life. My sister was meant to come home early and say her goodbyes to the only mother she has ever known. 

I walked around my house with my father in silence. It was strange noticing every little thing she had taken with her. It made me mad almost seeing how she went about leaving us, leaving me. At the same time, I knew they weren't meant for each other. 

It took me three months to talk to my mother after that day. I needed that time to get away from the fighting and avoid difficult conversations. Soon after I met with her, I started seeing the full picture. I finally realized that she didn't abandon me or her family, she abandoned a toxic environment. She wanted to raise me in a new light.  Somewhere she can be herself. It was a difficult and long journey coming to terms with how both parties handled their marriage and divorce. 

I'll always remember that day. Those events changed my whole life but I wouldn't rewrite it even if I had the chance. I now have a great understanding of how life happens and you better go with the current or you'll be stuck in the same spot forever. I can proudly say I have loving and trusting relationships with both my parents. They have apologized and I have forgiven them. I encourage people, like me, to be open-minded and understanding because our parents are trying too.