3.4 Brittney Kelshaw Writing 2

 He’s Gone.

I was fifteen years old, sitting on AOL chatting with my friends when my mom called me up to the kitchen to tell me that my sixteen year old best friend was dead. I can still hear the words, as though they are punching me in the gut, dropping me to my knees every time they replay in my head.

Life is short like that, you know. You think you have time. Buddha's quote has been with me since I stood in the kitchen, listening to my mom’s words shatter heart into a million little pieces. All that I could think was “the trouble is you think you have time.”

He passed on July 13, 2005 and the day still haunts me. Have you ever felt empty, like you are missing something? There is a constant ache in your chest that no memory or dream can heal. It’s not every day, but the days that it hits you, it’s like a heavy weight on your chest and you can’t breathe and can’t explain it to those around you. You just feel it and it consumes your every breath. That’s how I feel when I think about him. A young life, who had so much left to accomplish and world to change was gone too soon, all for a technicality. 

3,000 adolescents die each day. Did you realize the number was that high? I didn't. Not until it hit home, literally. I wish no one else ever had to endure this pain, but if you have, I know you’re feeling the same. Wishing there was a reason, a way to explain what happened and why. I’ve spent years searching for answers and yet all I ever end up with is Kenney Chesney, Who You’d Be Today on repeat. 

I still find myself talking to him, like the last night we spent together sitting around the campfire sharing our dreams. I see him shine down through the clouds and I know he’s there, protecting me. Although, I still find myself daydreaming about him. ’ll miss you until the bitter end.